Two years ago yesterday I posted my last blog post. A week later, I found myself (to paraphrase Buddy Holly) “learning the game.” A month later, an unexpected discovery revealed I was the one who had been gamed.
Without revealing too many details, this discovery delivered an exceptionally financially and emotionally expensive education on all sorts of dichotomies:
- conditional love vs. unconditional love
- co-parenting vs. parental alienation
- espoused ethics vs. ethics-in-use
- fact vs. fiction
- faithful friendships vs. false friendships
- honesty vs. dishonesty
- legal ethics vs. legal procedures
- moral certainty vs. moral relativism
I had previously assumed the events and behaviors I witnessed only happened in Desperate Housewives, LA Law, Lifetime Movie Network films, soap operas and The Twilight Zone. While you’re at it throw in some Benny Hill Show and Beverly Hills, 90210.
Despite my natural inclination to find the humor in my recent adventures, there is a very serious tone to it all. Given my profession as a teacher and trainer, these past two years have revealed to me an important nugget of knowledge that I express as follows:
”The toughest, but truest lessons we learn don’t come from a book; they come from the people, places, and predicaments in our lives.”
Sometimes those lessons involve heartache and sleepless nights, but hopefully we emerge as more complete individuals. Trying times can reveal the worst of people, yet they can also reveal the benevolence of others. It quickly becomes clear who you can trust and who really cares about you when you are in your time of greatest need.
I am endeavoring to move forward from my experience and leave behind me the distractions and drama that filled the past two years of my life.
While I won’t use the word grateful, I do feel that these past two years helped me to grow and mature in ways that would not have happened otherwise. My recent experience is a tool with which I will build an exceptional new life.
I will also remain deeply involved with the two most important parts of my past life who are also the center of my present and future life: my sons Jacob and Max.
On a practical level, my “enrollment” in this endeavor has prevented me from updating this blog as frequently as I would have liked while also impacting my plans to pursue a PhD as I had originally planned.
I am reminded of the following words by Langston Hughes:
“What happens to a dream deferred? Does it dry up Like a raisin in the sun? Or fester like a sore– And then run? Does it stink like rotten meat? Or crust and sugar over– like a syrupy sweet? Maybe it just sags like a heavy load. Or does it explode?”
I refuse to let my PhD dream “dry up, fester, stink, get crusty, sag or explode.” Quite the opposite: once the dust settles I will focus forward on a doctoral program that will provide me with the skills to produce research while ensuring my success as college professor
Likewise, I will begin posting to this blog again. It might take a few posts to get the rust out but I look forward to once again actively engaging in an educational and informational dialog.
Onward and upward!