Archive for the ‘Frivolity’ Category

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35 Random Things About Matthew Gilbert (Birthday Edition)

February 22, 2009

I was finally “tagged” on Facebook to provide a list of “25 Random Things about Me,” and, despite my concerns that this is some huge social engineering experiment by some very clever hackers, I have decided to participate.

However, I will go one step further and, because I am posting this on my 35th birthday, have decided to provide a list of “35 Random Things about Me.”

I am unsure if I am interesting enough to warrant the extra ten items, but here goes:

1. According to the website HowManyofMe.com there are 453 people named “Matthew Gilbert” in the United States – one of them actually lives in Santa Clarita.  Other “Matthew Gilberts” include the entertainment writer for the Boston Globe and a frighteningly “emo” singer/songwriter. There is also a “Matthew Gilbert” middle school in Jacksonville, Florida.

2. Speaking of names, Gilbert is not the last name I was born and grew up with: I legally changed it during my senior year in college to honor my Maternal Grandfather (and to distance myself from my father from whom I have been estranged since 1994).

3. My Grandfather had such a huge impact on my life that I made him the Best Man at my wedding.

4. Three days before my Grandfather died in 2006, after he had slipped into a coma, I was 350 miles away at home. I was sitting on my couch and distinctly smelled Aqua Velva – the after shave he always used. To this day I think it was him “saying” goodbye to me.

5. I was born in Boston, grew up near San Francisco and now live in the greater Los Angeles area, but I still identify with my New England roots and am a fan of the professional sports teams from that region (Go Patriots, Go Red Sox, Go Celtics).

6. Prior to the Patriots dramatic victory in SuperBowl 36 I was in a “sports coma” (although as a kid I was a 49ers fan and now consider them my second favorite team). My wife, Heather, still cannot understand exactly why I suddenly became obsessed with football and other sports. HD television and earning an MBA – which allowed me to understand team sports from the perspective of management and leadership – are partially to blame.

7. Growing up, the three people not related to me who had the most impact on my life were Joe Montana, Huey Lewis and Marty McFly. I took guitar lessons as a direct result of Huey Lewis and Marty McFly. I couldn’t really play guitar “back then” and I definitely can’t play now.

8. I am intrigued with the theory of time travel and would love to observe historical events in person and see what happens in the future. Maybe I would also try to recreate the 90s show Quantum Leap and “set right what once went wrong.”

9. After I saw “Top Gun” I wanted to become a naval aviator, but I had three things working against me: I am nearly legally blind, I get seasick, and I don’t take orders very well.

10. I also liked “Iron Eagle.” I first saw it with Jason Prystowsky, his Dad, Steven, and some other friends of his. At one point during the drive home Jason’s Dad floored the gas pedal in the car and yelled out “I’m an Iron Eagle!”

11. Speaking of Jason Prystowsky’s Dad again: As a kid I had a birthmark on my chin, but because it was not malignant, Kaiser (my health insurance company at the time), would not remove it. Dr. Prystowsky saved my vanity with some local anesthetic and a quick slice of a scalpel.

12. In the spirit of my aviation infatuation, the “theme” to my 1987 Bar Mitzvah party was “airplanes.” At that point I had made nearly two dozen model airplanes and a different plane was used as the center piece of each table. I also had a life-sized cardboard cutout picture of myself in a flight suit and helmet that people signed as they entered the room.

13. On a related note, ever since I can remember I have dreamed of flying. Once I experienced a “lucid dream” and remember saying “if this is a dream I should be able to fly.” Just as I said that the walls in the room I was in fell aside and I began to fly. Unfortunately I crash landed a few moments later into a garbage truck. Anyone have an interpretation?

14. I am not a comic book geek in the classic sense, but have had a lifelong love of “Superman.” I have now passed that appreciation down to my sons, Jacob and Max. I’ve been watching Smallville since it began and consider Tom Welling a worthy heir to the throne first occupied by Christopher Reeve. Don’t get me started about Superman Returns.

15. I traveled to Israel in the summer of 1990 with a group of 50 16 year olds. We spent six weeks touring the entire country from the Golan Heights in the North to Eilat in the South. It was a life changing experience and, interestingly, we left Israel for home on August 2, 1990 — the day Saddam Hussein invaded Kuwait (we learned about it when we landed in New York).

16. While in Israel I got my left ear pierced, as did most of the guys on the trip. I recall my exact words when I had it done were “Bitchin!” I haven’t actually worn an earring since approximately 1991, but the hole never really closed up.

17. I was in the best shape of my life when I returned from Israel: we hiked everywhere and even walked through the Judean Desert from Jerusalem to Ein Gedi.

18. I was selected as Editor in Chief of my high school newspaper, The Wolf Print, for my junior year. However, I learned just before school started that the District was cutting the paper due to budget shortages. So, with the help of Ben Samrick and others on that year’s staff, we raised enough money at registration to pay a significant enough portion of the teacher’s salary to convince the District to rescind its earlier decision.

19. I applied to UC Santa Barbara upon the advice of my 6th grade teacher, Mrs. Calvert, whose son Todd had gone there a few years earlier.

20. I was actively involved in Hillel at UC Santa Barbara and once participated in the holiday of Shavuot which commemorates when Moses received the Torah. To celebrate this event we stayed up all night reading and discussing the Torah. Then, in the morning, we all went for a swim in the Pacific Ocean at Goleta Beach.

21. When I was at UCSB I helped start a chapter of Theta Chi Fraternity. I served as the Chapter Secretary and in various other roles, but found my greatest joy when guiding the Ritual services as Chaplain. I even got to wear a red robe with a cross on it – and I called myself the “Jewish Chaplain.” I recruited Joel Wilde to succeed me as the next “Jewish Chaplain,” but sadly that legacy ended with his term.

22. I served on the staff of the UCSB yearbook, La Cumbre, for two years: one year as Copy Editor and the next year as Greek’s Section editor. I won a Gold Circle Award from the Columbia Scholastic Press Association in each of those two years.

23. I applied to and began my undergraduate experience at UCSB as a Communication major, but changed to English after the first quarter. Now I want to get a PhD in Communication so I can research the impact of social media on the management and marketing of knowledge. Go figure.

24. Between AP units and clever petitioning, I finished UCSB one quarter earlier, but have regretted doing so ever since. Can I get those three months back somehow?

25. I applied to give a speech at my UCSB graduation ceremony and came in second – so I was asked to be the “Commencement Bearer” for the College of Letters and Science ceremony which meant I lead the procession of graduates into the ceremony.

26. I earned an MBA nine years after graduating from UCSB and learned to leverage my writing skills and BA in English with the business curriculum: the result was publishing eleven scholarly papers and presenting nine of them at academic conferences from Hawaii to Pittsburgh.

27. I’ve never broken any bones or been admitted to a hospital but, as Billy Crystal jokes in one of his routines, I did have “a procedure” in my 30s.

28. On my birthday in 2006 my youngest son, Max, then just a month old, stopped breathing, went limp and turned lifeless. I gave him CPR while Heather called 9-1-1 and, by some miracle, he decided to rejoin us. I still get shivers when I think of this incident.

29. Due to the event mentioned above and several related incidents, 2006 was the hardest year of my life. I jokingly call it “two thousand sucks.” The three years following it have also been more challenging than I could have ever imagined. That said, I feel the experience helped me discover my true self and reset me back onto a personal and professional path that will ultimately lead to a happier life.

30. I have been on three Game Shows: “Winning Lines” (2000), “On the Cover” (2004) and “Trivial Pursuit: America Plays” (2008). I won the grand prize on “On the Cover,” which was a Caribbean cruise, but could never use it. I did, however, use the airfare that came with the trip to go to an academic conference – so I got something out of it.

31. In the summer of 2008 I flew to Las Vegas and sat on the floor all night in a Casino to try out for “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire” (I was 12th in line out of the maximum 1,500 that were allowed to audition). I was one of 10% who passed the test, but was not chosen to appear on the show. I am now more determined than ever to get on the show.

32. According to StrengthsFinder, my top five strengths are: Learner, Strategic, Input, Intellection, and Relator. This one test was THE tipping point in my realization that a career in academia was my calling (well, I should say it was the smack in the face that finally made me acknowledge what I had either ignored or somehow missed up until that point).

33. I started my career in “academia” on September 2, 2006 when I taught the first of 15 traffic school classes. As strange as it sounds, I actually enjoyed and learned a great deal from this experience. I would do it again if the pay was better!

34. I have been working as a “full-time part-time teacher” (adjunct) since October 2007 when I started teaching at the DeVry University in Bakersfield, CA. I have since added several additional schools to my resume and, at any given moment, might be juggling some combination of as many as six to twelve online and traditional classes. There was one month where I was driving between 800 and 900 miles per week. Good thing I don’t need much sleep!

35. I am in awe of how far my boys, Jacob and Max, have come and how gracefully they have both overcome different obstacles in their lives. They inspire me to be a better person and each day I try to do better than I did the day before.

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Save the Cheerleader, Save the Brand: Is Sprint Subliminally “Celling” on NBC’s “Heroes?”

December 30, 2008

I’ve never been sure if I was more of a geek or a nerd. Thankfully, Wired GeekDad blog writer Matt Blum answered my question in a December 24, 2008 Associated Press story proclaiming Barack Obama as the “Geek-in-Chief.”  Blum delineates the difference as follows:

“A geek is someone who has the knowledge of the geeky type stuff and has social graces. A nerd is someone who has the knowledge but not the social graces and a dork is someone who has neither.”

That being the case, I suppose I am more of a geek. I embrace my geekness, though I can honestly say that I have never been a comic book geek in the true sense of the word. While I have read a few graphic novels, I’ve never collected issues and kept them hermetically sealed in a temperature controlled room. 

Nevertheless, I’ve had a lifelong admiration for the character of Superman (as the shield in the header of this blog attests). I have also been watching the NBC show Heroes since it begain airing in the fall of 2006 (speaking of Superman, it helped me to recover from “Superman Returns,” which I felt was very untrue to the idea of the character).

I am also a bit of a marketing geek, so I tend to notice things most other won’t — especially when my two areas of interest collide, as they have recently in Heroes. Over the past few seasons of the show, there has been some clumsily obvious product placements. While not entirely distracting from the show, they are hard to miss.

The two main brands that have maintained a strong presence in the show are Nissan and Sprint. It will be interesting to see how the upheaval in the economy and automobile industry might affect this ongoing relationship. Sprint has become heavily involved as of late, even sponsoring an online contest that invited viewers to chose a new hero for an online webisode.

I am also a customer of Sprint and have been since January 2000. In May 2008 I upgraded to the Palm Centro and have been using it ever since (I still am likely only using 25% of the phone’s capabilities). 

One of the features I occasionally use is the Internet access — though I would use it more if it were not for inconsistent connection speeds and an underwhelming interface (it does not display the “real” Internet as is the case with the iPhone).

In any case, something caught my eye one day when I was browsing the “fake” Internet on my Palm Centro: the connection/activity icon on the phone is almost identical to the thematic image from Season 3 of Heroes!

This image is one that depicts the earth spliting apart along a diagonal line (bottom left to top right). The connection/activity icon on the Palm Centro depicts an earth with some kind of flame or ball of energy transversing it in a diagonal line (bottom left to top right).

This can’t possibly be a coincidence, can it? I’ve provided an image below containing pictures of both — Have a look and leave a comment with your thoughts about this possible case of product placement:

Unique Sprint Product Placement in NBC's Heroes?

Unique Sprint Product Placement in NBC's Heroes?

I would love to get some other opinions on this. Certainly this is not the Rosetta stone or anything, but it does intrigue me. By the way, for a more complete list of product placement in Heroes episodes and other information about the show, check out the Heroes Wiki.

 

Update:

Shortly after writing this blog post, I attempted to answer my above question by reaching out to three Heroes actors who I know use Twitter:

  • Greg Grunberg (@greggrunberg), who plays “Matt Parkman.”
  • Brea Grant (@breagrant) who plays “Daphne Millbrook” (Matt Parkman’s love interest.)
  • David H. Lawrence (@dhlawrencexvii) who plays puppetmaster “Eric Doyle.”

On January 2, 2009 at 12:42 AM I posted the following question on Twitter: @greggrunberg @dhlawrencexvii @breagrant, is Sprint subliminally “celling” on “Heroes?” www.tr.im/sprint.

A short time later, at 1:29 AM, I noticed David Lawrence had just posted a tweet. So I resent the same question directly to him: @dhlawrencexvii Is Sprint subliminally “celling” on “Heroes?” Read this if you get a chance: www.tr.im/sprint. @Joseph_Yi and I are curious.

A few minutes later, on January 2, 2009 at 1:42 AM, David Lawrence replied as follows: @doctorious  Sprint (and Nissan) are Heroes’ 3 biggest advertisers. Nothing subliminal about it. All of us use Sprint cell phones on the show.

Later that same day, January 2, 2009 at 12:13 PM, Brea Grant sent a reply as well: @doctorious  nothing subliminal about sponsorship on the show but i think the whole world splitting thing is just a coincidence. 

I never heard back from Greg Grunberg, but I appreciate the two responses I did receive as they were interesting and enlightening. I wonder how someone who works in production for the show might answer for my question?

 

 

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‘Twas The Night Before Bailout

December 25, 2008

Bailout America Logo

In the spirit of the holiday season, I crafted the following economy-inspired version of the classic Christmas tradition ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas for your yuletide pleasure. Behold a brand-new holiday classic: ‘Twas The Night Before Bailout!

‘Twas the night before Bailout, when all through the Board,
Directors were scrambling, cash and stock options to horde.
Their loans were defaulting, their stock values shrinking,
Everyone hoping that St. Paulson would soon be ringing.

The executives were nestled all snug in their silk ties,
While visions of cash bonuses danced about like flies.
And the CEO in his cravat, and I in my gold-lined cap,
Just cooked our books so Fed money we could trap.

When out up on the helipad there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my office, did the glass ceiling shatter?
Away to the penthouse boardroom I flew in a tizzy,
Tore open the blinds, with anticipation I was dizzy.

The moon shining on the breasts of my gullible peon,
Gave the lustre of Bond’s martinis to objects like neon.
When, what to my glazed, wandering eyes I should spy,
But a red Hummer burning rubber across the night sky!

With an old weathered driver, green eyes and a sneer,
I knew in a moment that St. Paulson was finally here!
More rapid than auditors his eight minions they came,
He whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

“Now, Citi! Now, BofA! Now, Morgan and Stanley,
On, GM! On, Chrysler! On Goldman and Fannie!
To the top of the building! To the top of Street Wall!
Now bail away! Bail away! Bail away all!”

As dry dollars that before a financial firestorm fly,
When they meet with the SEC, jet away to the sky;
So up to the building-top that red Hummer it flew,
With bags full of  TARP money and St. Paulson too.

And then, with prostate tingling, I heard on the ceiling,
The posturing and grandstanding of all eight underlings.
As I drew in from my Cuban cigar while turning around,
Right into the Boardroom St. Paulson crashed down.

He was dressed all in Gucci, from his head to John Lobbs,
And his clothes were tarnished with the money he robbed.
A bundle of taxpayer’s cash he had flung across his back,
He looked like a meth dealer furtively opening his pack.

His eyes how they squinted! His breath was so smelly!
His face covered in cash, dirty dollars filled his belly!
He reeked of the federal dollars he had just fleeced,
So slick was his style, his beard covered in grease.

The stump of a fat stogie he clenched tightly in his jaw,
His carbon footprint was huge, it went for miles I saw!
He had a distorted face and belly that he sure spoiled,
It sloshed when he laughed, like a bowlful of crude oil!

He was corpulent and wasteful, a frightening monster,
Had he not had the cash I’dve hit him with my roadster!
With no questions or oversight, the bailout he gave me,
Sarbanes-Oxley is a joke, now of regulations I am free!

He giggled and grunted then went straight to his scheme,
And filled all of the Board’s pockets with the stolen green.
He then turned with a jerk, and stuck a finger up his nose,
And when giving a belch, up through the ceiling he rose!

He staggered to his Hummer, to his team gave “the” finger,
And away they all flew, but long did his stench still linger.
But I heard him yell loudly, as he careened out of sight,
“Happy Bailout to all, and to CEOs a good-night!”

 

For more information about the “Bailout America” logo, please visit http://www.flickr.com/photos/doctorious/3102369490/

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